a good kind of nervous?

i fly to be with my J tomorrow. 2 weeks of Canadian fresh air, 2 weeks away from the stress my daily (normal) life brings me, 2 weeks away from my poor baby rico. i dread being away from rico. i will lose sleep over my missing him.

with all the drama that has happened to me last year, i am a bit afraid to go anywhere away from my home, my room, my bed. anyplace can be the wrong place and anytime can be the wrong time. i can be caught in another dilemma that i shouldn’t be involved in. the world can suck sometime. i know this first hand.

the only thing i look forward to is being in J’s arms and i’m a bit nervous that sometime between now and then, fate will play its game again.

and i wish i can say, i only have ONE douchebag to blame for all this. I can, actually, I just cant help but blame myself for investing time and effort into something selfless only to be f-ed up by an unqualified businessman. agh!

forgive and forget? if he’s lucky..

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